Conservative middle America totally against Gay Marriage. Red necks, evengelicals and others in uproar.
"But agree it's still ok to shag their sisters and beat wives and kids."
Rednecks and Christian evangelicals called for the President to resign following his support for gay marriage.
Jimbo McSquirrel, a mid West resident was angered. He told us, "It says man aint sposed to lie with man as he does a woman, says so in the bible."
Mr. McSquirrel, father of eight, including three kids by one daughter and two with a cousin went on, "I find what those faggots do to be reprehensible
in the eyes of the Lord. I am sick to my stomach at just the thought of what they do to each other. It's immoral.
We were interrupted when one of his kids started crying. Mr. McSquirrel soon resolved the issue by taking off his belt and beating the kid to a pulp.
"Sorry bout that, but these kids have to understand authority and discipline," he went on.
Meanwhile, in the deep South, the Reverend Al Mcsquirrel told us he and his congregation were outraged. "Obama really is the anti christ. He's a terrorist
who supports fags, welfare scroungers and people who won't help themselves cos they're too lazy. Now I read the bible about that and nowhere
does the Lord say we should support those who can't support themselves. Anyways, I gotta go the bank and deposit this weeks contributions. Buying a boat
next week as well, " he smiled.
Romney suffering from mental disorder. Needs a personality transplant immediately.
"Romney's political life could soon end if he doesn't receive one real soon," Dr. Mac McSquirrel.
"It's serious," he told us. "Romney is suffering from a rare disorder called "Romneyitis". The patient has illusions of grandeur, is easilly manipulated
by others and consequently does as he's told. All of this is due to having a limited functioning personality. It's a shame. We need to perform a personality
transplant as soon as possible but we don't have a suitable donor. A cardboard box died last night but we felt transplanting its personality to Romney
could over stimulate Romneys motor neurone functions which have basically remained dormant since he was aged about sixteen."
"Without the transplant, the Presidential hopeful will typically experience confusion, chronic loss of memory and will constantly change his mind.
As he gets caught in more and more lies he will become more confused and begin to lie in order to cover his condition. It's ok though, another republican
president Ronnie Raegan was just the same and he was sort of ok, wasn't he?"
We asked Romney if he felt his condition was a liability to his candicacy. An aide replied, "Irregardlesss, he will do what the fuck he's told to do and he never
had a gay experience at college when he had long blonde hair. Ever. So there."